1. Gap year
2. Live in France
3. Be an editor of a magazine
4. Swim with dolphins
5. Scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef
6. Be happy
7. Have two kids
8. Be an author
9. Appeal for eating disorders
10. Be in Love
11. Be a kind person
12. Obtain a degree
I wrote this list in 2006 and surprisingly I have actually fulfilled some of them.
a) I lived in France for five months in 2007 as part of my university degree in languages.
b) I swam with dolphins in 2007 in New Zealand; it was amazing and I want to do it again.
c) I fell in love for the first time in 2007 and the second time late-2008. Both times have been special and indescribable; yet the second was more powerful as I’m finding it increasingly hard now to fall out of love.
d) I think I’m a kind person – I’m always there to listen to my friends; I do charity work and I help my family.
e) I obtained my degree in 2009 in French and German. I didn’t get the grade I wanted but it still is an achievement to me.
My blog is about the article I wrote to accompany my list:
Why do we spend so much time predicting our future? Is it because we’re desperately searching for something more than the life we actually have? I guess we’re worried for the future – what will become of us?
I still daydream about mine yet I should know that you can not plan. I mean so far my anorexia has set me back three years. I stopped experiencing things at 16. I’ve missed out on so much and lost some of my dreams. I won’t dwell on them as one thing I have learnt from this illness is not to be so hung up on the past. I can’t change it. Instead I’ve made more dreams and maybe this was the way my life was supposed to be. I am more knowledgeable and mature due to my eating disorder. Plus by being an ambassador, I’ve participated in events other people my age would never do – speak at national conferences, been hob-knobbing in the House of Commons with MPs, done radio, newspaper and magazine interviews…. Ironically my eating disorder has helped me to gain confidence and self-respect. Also I’m healthier than I’ve ever been! I’ve made some fab supportive friends too.
What I’m trying to say is yes, it’s good to have ambition but don’t try to structure your future – anything could happen. Just learn from your experiences, mistakes and make some thing positive out of it.
These past three years have been the worst so far but now I’m helping people and learning to like myself again.
Monday 15 February 2010
My passion
Books have always had an impact on my thinking, either my view on life or myself. I like to reflect afterwards. I love how a really good story can make you feel warm inside. The ones that draw you in, where you are the main character and your own life gets left behind.
I like to read in silence – that is no outside noise. I don’t mind listening to my ipod – I use it to drown out everyone else. Books need to be concentrated on, so you can easily slip into another world for five minutes, half an hour or a whole day!
Some of my favourite places are libraries and bookshops where I’m surrounded by endless possibilities. Do I want to be in the past, present or future? Teenage, crime, fantasy, chick lit, action or everyday life? Classic or modern?
My ambition is to own a house with its own library, involving a swinging ladder, like in Beauty and the Beast. Then I’d have window seats, cosy chairs, a big four poster bed, a swing chair in my garden and a beautifully carved bench – all for the pleasure of reading.
I like to read in silence – that is no outside noise. I don’t mind listening to my ipod – I use it to drown out everyone else. Books need to be concentrated on, so you can easily slip into another world for five minutes, half an hour or a whole day!
Some of my favourite places are libraries and bookshops where I’m surrounded by endless possibilities. Do I want to be in the past, present or future? Teenage, crime, fantasy, chick lit, action or everyday life? Classic or modern?
My ambition is to own a house with its own library, involving a swinging ladder, like in Beauty and the Beast. Then I’d have window seats, cosy chairs, a big four poster bed, a swing chair in my garden and a beautifully carved bench – all for the pleasure of reading.
My sub-personalities
I've been going through old notebooks and found odd rambles that I thought I would publish.
This one is based around a series of books I used to read as a teenager; the mates, dates and... In one book a girl spoke of all the different personalities she was composed of, so I decided to think about my own sub-personalities.
Goody two-shoes: She helps around the house, is hardly ever shouted at by her parents, does extra work for university and always follows the rules.
Ana: She is a dominative person, my anorexic voice and is very negative. I wish she would leave but deep down I know she’ll always be a part of me. This is the one that makes me skip meals and exercise.
Sally: She is the shy one who I am around new people and boys I like. She blushes a lot and is very quiet.
Scarlett: She is very flirty; mostly around boys when she is drunk.
Elizabeth: She is the book reader and an aspiring author/journalist as well as a daydreamer.
Maiya: She is the girl I wish I was; the one who usually appears in my daydreams. She is popular, tall, slim, pretty and intelligent. She has mid-length blonde hair, plays for a sports team and is a dancer. In my eyes, she is perfect.
Angel: She is completely innocent.
Maggie: She is very childish and appears when I am in an ana drama, shy or nervous or when I’m with younger people.
This one is based around a series of books I used to read as a teenager; the mates, dates and... In one book a girl spoke of all the different personalities she was composed of, so I decided to think about my own sub-personalities.
Goody two-shoes: She helps around the house, is hardly ever shouted at by her parents, does extra work for university and always follows the rules.
Ana: She is a dominative person, my anorexic voice and is very negative. I wish she would leave but deep down I know she’ll always be a part of me. This is the one that makes me skip meals and exercise.
Sally: She is the shy one who I am around new people and boys I like. She blushes a lot and is very quiet.
Scarlett: She is very flirty; mostly around boys when she is drunk.
Elizabeth: She is the book reader and an aspiring author/journalist as well as a daydreamer.
Maiya: She is the girl I wish I was; the one who usually appears in my daydreams. She is popular, tall, slim, pretty and intelligent. She has mid-length blonde hair, plays for a sports team and is a dancer. In my eyes, she is perfect.
Angel: She is completely innocent.
Maggie: She is very childish and appears when I am in an ana drama, shy or nervous or when I’m with younger people.
Wednesday 10 February 2010
Lily Allen - GQ
The April 2008 issue of Q magazine won the best cover award from the Maggies, beating 30 other nominees. The cover features Lily Allen and two panthers. It makes a really bold statement, having dangerous animals on the front, implying that Lily is also ferocious. However in reality Lily isn’t as brave as she looks. In fact, the pictures of the panther were digitally put in.
Lily Allen is a strong personality, amongst a fickle celebrity world. By photographing her with the panthers, her character is reflected. Her black hair, monochrome skirt and black tights compliment this, as well as the fact that she is wearing little else. Having the cover just in black and white, with just the redness of the Q icon, makes the cover stand out and give it a traditional vibe.
The way Lily is standing – her back towards the camera, glancing over her shoulder – seems as though she doesn’t want to give all herself away to the media. Yet at the same time, the caption states that we know all of her wild adventures, “Beast Lily and her wicked, wicked ways”. According to one review, Allen’s management liked the idea of her being photographed with panthers to showcase her “wild image”
For me, I don’t see the significance in her having no top on, apart from maybe to show a vulnerable side. Maybe it just comes down to our society. Sex sells.
There are conflicting views on the Internet as well as within Q. The photographer, John Wright, said that “she wasn’t sure about taking her top off but we got there in the end.” Whereas in Lily’s own single The Fear, she sings, “I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless”, so why the shyness? She even admits in the interview that years ago she used to get her hair cut for cheaper by flashing her breasts at the hairdresser. “If I did it enough, I’d get it for free.”
She is apparently also a fan of the naked female form and attends strip joints, although she does admit to feeling awkward.
I do like the bold statement that this front cover makes, but if we take the other nominees into consideration, there wasn’t much competition for it to win the best cover of the year. The only main contender for me was the cover for the first issue of Love magazine, which featured a striking naked Beth Ditto. Putting a very curvaceous woman on the front cover in a society obsessed with size zero is daring in itself. The other covers were fairly bland. From the Christmas Radio times of Wallace and Gromit to Ok!’s portrayal of Jade Goody’s wedding, from Glamour’s Kiera Knightely shot to GQ’s David Beckham, these were all general shots of celebrities that we see every month. Where has the originality gone?
Lily Allen is a strong personality, amongst a fickle celebrity world. By photographing her with the panthers, her character is reflected. Her black hair, monochrome skirt and black tights compliment this, as well as the fact that she is wearing little else. Having the cover just in black and white, with just the redness of the Q icon, makes the cover stand out and give it a traditional vibe.
The way Lily is standing – her back towards the camera, glancing over her shoulder – seems as though she doesn’t want to give all herself away to the media. Yet at the same time, the caption states that we know all of her wild adventures, “Beast Lily and her wicked, wicked ways”. According to one review, Allen’s management liked the idea of her being photographed with panthers to showcase her “wild image”
For me, I don’t see the significance in her having no top on, apart from maybe to show a vulnerable side. Maybe it just comes down to our society. Sex sells.
There are conflicting views on the Internet as well as within Q. The photographer, John Wright, said that “she wasn’t sure about taking her top off but we got there in the end.” Whereas in Lily’s own single The Fear, she sings, “I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless”, so why the shyness? She even admits in the interview that years ago she used to get her hair cut for cheaper by flashing her breasts at the hairdresser. “If I did it enough, I’d get it for free.”
She is apparently also a fan of the naked female form and attends strip joints, although she does admit to feeling awkward.
I do like the bold statement that this front cover makes, but if we take the other nominees into consideration, there wasn’t much competition for it to win the best cover of the year. The only main contender for me was the cover for the first issue of Love magazine, which featured a striking naked Beth Ditto. Putting a very curvaceous woman on the front cover in a society obsessed with size zero is daring in itself. The other covers were fairly bland. From the Christmas Radio times of Wallace and Gromit to Ok!’s portrayal of Jade Goody’s wedding, from Glamour’s Kiera Knightely shot to GQ’s David Beckham, these were all general shots of celebrities that we see every month. Where has the originality gone?
Small Town Girl
Living in a small coastal town in the North East often makes me feel suffocated and itching to escape its confinements. Although South Shields has pretty scenery with the National Trust protected coastline, beaches and inner town parks, the main centre as well as the housing estates are dismal. Brick houses, rubbish-filled gardens, buildings dirtied by pigeons and seagulls seem even bleaker, with the grey sky that resides all year round and the miserable people that loiter around the streets.
Being someone who is well travelled (Europe, New Zealand, America), I know that there is more exciting places out there. Every time I return from a holiday, I am filled with dread as soon as I see the familiar row of shops near to where I live.
South Shields is full of people with no ambition. They will remain in the same town until they die, after marrying someone they went to school with. And I’m not being stereotypical. It’s the truth. I know people who have only been as far as Newcastle. They live in South Shields, they work there, they socialise there. They have no desire to experience other cultures.
Added to this, my town is full of charvahs. Wearing tracksuits, berghauses and huge hoop earrings, they are generally either on the dole or have three or four children at the age of 22. Their social habits? Drinking on street corners, causing fights and engaging in casual unprotected sex. Their attitude? They care about themselves and everyone else can f**k off.
When I was younger and naïve, I used to be scared of groups of charvahs, keeping my head down and scuttling past them. But lately I’ve developed an “I don’t care attitude.” I’ve realised that they have nothing going for them and by showing you aren’t bothered, they are more likely to leave you alone.
Another problem with small towns is no privacy. Everybody knows everything about everyone; even things you didn’t know about yourself! There are no secrets; this is a place where the local celebrities are either those who are out partying every night (the “IT” girls and boys if you like) or those who work behind bars.
And this is all why I felt proud when Joe McElderry won The X-Factor. Here was someone getting their big break and managing to escape from a town with no prospects. One day I hope to getaway too.
Being someone who is well travelled (Europe, New Zealand, America), I know that there is more exciting places out there. Every time I return from a holiday, I am filled with dread as soon as I see the familiar row of shops near to where I live.
South Shields is full of people with no ambition. They will remain in the same town until they die, after marrying someone they went to school with. And I’m not being stereotypical. It’s the truth. I know people who have only been as far as Newcastle. They live in South Shields, they work there, they socialise there. They have no desire to experience other cultures.
Added to this, my town is full of charvahs. Wearing tracksuits, berghauses and huge hoop earrings, they are generally either on the dole or have three or four children at the age of 22. Their social habits? Drinking on street corners, causing fights and engaging in casual unprotected sex. Their attitude? They care about themselves and everyone else can f**k off.
When I was younger and naïve, I used to be scared of groups of charvahs, keeping my head down and scuttling past them. But lately I’ve developed an “I don’t care attitude.” I’ve realised that they have nothing going for them and by showing you aren’t bothered, they are more likely to leave you alone.
Another problem with small towns is no privacy. Everybody knows everything about everyone; even things you didn’t know about yourself! There are no secrets; this is a place where the local celebrities are either those who are out partying every night (the “IT” girls and boys if you like) or those who work behind bars.
And this is all why I felt proud when Joe McElderry won The X-Factor. Here was someone getting their big break and managing to escape from a town with no prospects. One day I hope to getaway too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
