Planning our lives – my dreams

1. Gap year
2. Live in France
3. Be an editor of a magazine
4. Swim with dolphins
5. Scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef
6. Be happy
7. Have two kids
8. Be an author
9. Appeal for eating disorders
10. Be in Love
11. Be a kind person
12. Obtain a degree


I wrote this list in 2006 and surprisingly I have actually fulfilled some of them.

a) I lived in France for five months in 2007 as part of my university degree in languages.

b) I swam with dolphins in 2007 in New Zealand; it was amazing and I want to do it again.

c) I fell in love for the first time in 2007 and the second time late-2008. Both times have been special and indescribable; yet the second was more powerful as I’m finding it increasingly hard now to fall out of love.

d) I think I’m a kind person – I’m always there to listen to my friends; I do charity work and I help my family.

e) I obtained my degree in 2009 in French and German. I didn’t get the grade I wanted but it still is an achievement to me.



My blog is about the article I wrote to accompany my list:


Why do we spend so much time predicting our future? Is it because we’re desperately searching for something more than the life we actually have? I guess we’re worried for the future – what will become of us?


I still daydream about mine yet I should know that you can not plan. I mean so far my anorexia has set me back three years. I stopped experiencing things at 16. I’ve missed out on so much and lost some of my dreams. I won’t dwell on them as one thing I have learnt from this illness is not to be so hung up on the past. I can’t change it. Instead I’ve made more dreams and maybe this was the way my life was supposed to be. I am more knowledgeable and mature due to my eating disorder. Plus by being an ambassador, I’ve participated in events other people my age would never do – speak at national conferences, been hob-knobbing in the House of Commons with MPs, done radio, newspaper and magazine interviews…. Ironically my eating disorder has helped me to gain confidence and self-respect. Also I’m healthier than I’ve ever been! I’ve made some fab supportive friends too.


What I’m trying to say is yes, it’s good to have ambition but don’t try to structure your future – anything could happen. Just learn from your experiences, mistakes and make some thing positive out of it.


These past three years have been the worst so far but now I’m helping people and learning to like myself again.